Mom Diaries: Makeup and Crop tops

So you’re not allowed to wear makeup? All your friends wear ripped jeans and crop tops but your parents wouldn’t dare let you walk out the door in a slightly revealing top? There’s a transition where everyone around you gets to wear tighter tops and mascara everyday but your parents act like the referee on the sidelines: calling the shots, enforcing the rules, and unafraid to call you out. For both makeup and clothes, you’ll start to understand through this post that the best tactic to getting what you want is to SLOWLY ease into negotiation and be willing to COMPROMISE.


Makeup


First off, if you’ve thrown around the makeup topic with your mom and you get the sense she isn’t going to be so comfortable with it, you should really have a sit down conversation so she realizes how important this is for you. Explain to her your reason for wanting to wear makeup and that you only hope to enhance your natural features in a subtle way (not exaggerated like any of the big youtubers or older girls at school). Tell your mom that even a little bit of makeup will help you to feel a lot more self confident. Start off by suggesting a VERY VERY limited makeup regimen, for example: a glossier lip balm (could even be untinted) and clear mascara. Prove to your mom that you can follow her rules and stay trustworthy for a few months and then only later suggest adding in brown mascara and some brow gel, concealer or BB cream. This is pretty much a very light, tinted sunscreen that will cover some blemishes and even out your skin tone - have never worn foundation in my life and BB Cream has been my baeee for years.


Like any regular mom, your mother is scared that you’ll grow up too fast. Ask your mom to help you so she feels like she’s involved and tell her that it’s a fun thing you can do together… this will DEFINITELY win her over.


But between you and me girl, just so we’re clear, you really don’t need makeup to be beautiful. I know girls who don’t walk out of the house without makeup. I wouldn’t even recognize these people without a covered face of full glam. You have to see your inner beauty before you can even consider stepping into the world of makeup. Go for the less is more look and stay confident in the girl you are without the makeup.



Crop Tops


Here we go. You’re going to suggest a shopping day with your mom… make sure you’re wearing some sort of extra high waisted pant. Walk into any shop together (zara, forever 21, urban, brandy, etc) and pick a BUNCH of options. I’m talking like 8 minimum. Tell your mom to pick her favorite tops out of all the ones you like and then go try them on for her. Hopefully you can narrow it down to at least one or two that you both can agree on. The absolute key to this working out is extra high waisted jeans or pants (my all time favorite crop top hack because it makes the shirts look less short) and then a huge baggy zip up hoodie over the outfit. Tell your mom this is how you would wear the outfit to school.


Here are some other options for you

  • You could definitely do some tight tops that aren't necessarily cropped. Think: this.

  • Crop some of your old baggy shirts just enough where she might not notice it! Recycling and saving money? She should be happy this was the worst thing you were doing! You’re a good kid!

  • Could you suggest a crop top with a longer tank top underneath? Very early 2000s.


I think you have to cut to the chase with your parents and understand the concern about the crop tops. If it's an ‘inappropriate’ thing, ask your parents what is sexual about a young girl wearing a crop top? Why are they afraid of a little midriff? What is their concern or fear? I know a lot of families carry a whole array of opinions on this matter but there is definitely a societal understanding in which women should cover up to protect themselves from a male predator instead of teaching men to not sexualize women. This puts the blame on the women, that her body is the issue and works around the faults of sexism at the convenience of men. Now who’s fault is that? Ask them why you should be afraid of society and why you are being forced to hide your body?


Prove to your mom that you can balance modesty with some more mature looks. I found this progression strategy stated nicely online: “slightly cropped sweaters, to cropped long sleeve tops, to cropped tees to THEN regular crop tops or crop tanks.” Again, ask your mom to find cute outfits together and make this a bonding activity.


WE GOT THIS,

Sophia


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