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Ask Sophia: "I haven't had a crush in a while, is something wrong with me" (and more on sexuality)

“I haven’t had a crush or romantic feeling towards any guys for a long time and whenever I think of a relationship it disgusts me. I’m starting to question myself if I’m asexual or am I just in a strange phase?” - Anonymous

I’ll be honest with you, I have gone through long periods of time when there hasn’t been a single guy on my mind. Of course it's nice to not be constantly fretting about someone, but I also had these exact same thoughts.

The first thing I want to say is that we are in a full-on global pandemic. I think this strange phase you’re in is called Corona Virus. Everything is on hold… parties, vacationing, summer camp, and even crushes. In my city, schools haven’t been opened in almost a year and I barely see any of my friends, let alone potential crushes. It would make sense that you haven’t had any romantic feelings in a while because you probably aren’t meeting anybody new either!

As far as your concerns about your sexuality, my advice is relatively broad and I urge you to speak to someone you trust. I’ll say that I’ve always been a firm believer that at this young age, we're still figuring out who we are and don’t HAVE or NEED to label ourselves. I know people who have come out and tagged themselves as falling into a certain realm of sexuality a few years ago and now have completely different perspectives and understanding of themselves. You might feel a lack of lust and flirtatious excitement in your life right now (me too!), but throughout your adolescence, the many experiences you will go through will change that. Live life, try new things, take risks and give yourself the opportunity to discover what does or doesn’t attract you without any limiting and determined labels.

The last thing I’ll say is that I’m ready for life to start, things to happen. I want ALL the answers and everything to finally click into place. There is so much ahead of you, so much life to live. This phase, this moment of blank... it WILL pass.

You got this,


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