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Ask Sophia: 'We Snap A Lot But It's Awkward In Person’

Updated: Mar 14, 2021

Q: There is this guy who I really like and we snap very often but whenever I see him in person he never talks to me. I am not sure what this means or anything.

A: Ok yupppp! This one right here. This is it. I just want to preface this whole response with an understanding that when you say ‘snap very often’, you guys have long, legit conversations, there's some flirting going on, and he responds quickly. If you just send half face pics and bland conversations then the rest of this response doesn’t apply.

So once upon a time, your girl was INVESTED in a Snapfling (I just made up that word and we don’t talk about it). Anyway, this dude and I knew a good amount about each other, lots of flirting, lasted multiple months, #1 best friend on snap… you know the drill. Urban dictionary would describe it as “a relationship that can last anywhere from a few hours to a couple years, but feelings are never known.” And that right there sums it up. This guy could never say ‘I like you’ or ‘let’s hang out’ - very frustrating of course. The issue with the whole situation was that I would see this kid around ALL THE TIME! It was so freaking weird to snap and facetime someone all through the night but not be able to speak to each other in person. We would maybe say hi and I tried to spark a conversation in person but nothing worked out (this guy was actually a big ***hole) but then we go our separate ways and continue our snapchat flirting like nothing had ever happened. So any girls out there who are/have fostered a completely different relationship behind the screen compared to face-to-face with a kid from school, someone who you hang out with on the weekends, or a family friend… I know the vibe.

Here are my conclusions to this situation: I totally understand both your side and his because bringing your secret relationship to real life can be super nerve racking when you’ve got some butterflies and the awkwardness is tangible. Howeverrrrrrr, it says a LOT about a guy who can allow you to become vulnerable online and present as if he’s interested but have no guts to look you in the eyes, ask for real plans, make you laugh (NOT through a screen), and prove that he’s worth all the time you’ve spent on him. At some point, you’re wondering: “So what is this thing we’ve got going on? I feel like I’m living in an alternate online universe where I tell myself I know you but then I see you in real life… and I realize i don’t anymore”.

1) Figure out a way to have an in person conversation: try to bring up something you guys had snapped about, maybe ask about his baseball game from last night or how the quiz had gone that he was scared would go poorly. Remind him of the online connection you have by putting a voice and face to the deep or goofy conversations you’ve had. If it is really awkward and you guys just aren't clicking, then the chemistry isn’t there and that's fine. At the end of the day, he’s most likely just nervous. If you act nervous, then he’s gonna act nervous. Almost think of this guy as a good friend of yours that you’ve known for a while (because tbh he kind of is). Start off with a little wave or say hey… very harmless and sweet.

2) If you’ve broken the ice and all is good in person, you’re set. BUT, if your efforts of getting a good conversation going in person have failed you multiple times… he’s using you - for emotional support, to get to one of your friends, nudes, boredom. If you’re looking for something more with this guy, welp he lost his window. Done. Bye.

I’ll end with this - online flirting can be bomb as heck, faking a personality can be a godsend for some of us, but this is NOT real life. Just because you know all of his 21 question answers doesn’t mean he likes you (oop i said what i said). I would HIGHLY recommend creating a really great bond in person and then taking it to snapchat once you know your friendship/relationship is stable and their intentions are authentic.

We got this,


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