You see your crush (literally anywhere) and your first instinct is to HIDE… run away, call your friend, and then relive that moment over and over again in your head for the next 24 hours even though your crush didn’t notice you at all.
A few hours later, you wish you had said hi or gone about it differently, strategically planning out how it could’ve gone better and what you will do next time if this ever happens again. ‘Crush’ is ambiguous so there are a few routes you can take depending on your relationship with your crush.
One BIG THING that my friend reminded me: You HAVE to decide if you are going to be in control of the situation. It doesn’t matter if your crush is your closest guy friend or a snapchat h**, the way that they act around you is completely dependent on the energy you bring (shy and awkward vs. relaxed but enthusiastic). You cannot rely on your crush to come up to you… they are probably nervous too but if you want this to go somewhere, you have to initiate the conversation with confidence.
Friendly-ish:
If you are kind of friends with your crush, meaning that you definitely know each other's names and have met once or go to the same school, there’s a chance he might recognize you and say hi first. This means that you need to put yourself in close vicinity to this person so they definitely notice you are there. If he doesn’t address you then it’s all on you. Remain very laid back but still interested. If you’re not the biggest flirt (complimenting, making fun, etc) then be inquisitive and ask him a few questions about himself (long time no see, how have you been, how’s school, are you back in person, etc). Pretend like he is that one friend that you don’t know super well but would definitely acknowledge in public. It’s almost even more akward if you guys notice each other but you choose not to say anything. Suppress your nerves and give off a chill and unbothered energy.
Out of your league/barely know the guy:
In public:
I get that it’s very difficult to approach an intimidating person (especially if you’re doing it alone and he is in a big group) and if he is “out of your league” (NO ONE IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE) but you know what i mean… he’s in that exclusive friend group or he’s just very attractive. The only thing you can really do is continue to exchange eye contact from a far. I’m quoting from my post on flirting, “Not a creepy, always staring, Debby Ryan smirk type eye contact… but a little look up, look down moment and make sure he catches your eye more than once.” Definitely assess the situation and make sure that it comes off in a casual and natural way. If you’re in a line somewhere or both waiting to be picked up it could work but don’t cross the street and directly walk up to this person… we both know that’s strange. This is a stretch but if he is kind of close to you, you could ask any type of relevant question in that setting such as ‘do you know where the bathroom is’. Obviously you know or have heard of this person before, so preferably you're direct about ‘hey don’t you go to SBHS’ or ‘aren’t you friends with Kate’.
At school:
Work with what you have in common. In your class together say something along the lines of ‘how are you studying for the test’ or ‘it’s so funny when mr. blank does xyz’ or ask for a pencil. Take a shared experience and make it into an inside joke. A good first step is making sure he knows your name and can identify you… create some sort of connection even if it’s just about a class.
What if you are snapping and you run into him
This can be so awkward and has happened to me and several of my friends. If you quickly notice him but haven’t yet exchanged eye contact, I would suggest leveraging the fact that you snapchat with him... meaning send a pic of you in that same location with your background pretty obvious. If he wants to talk to you or meet up, he’ll let you know that he is actually at this location too. Then plan to meet up for a sec. If he genuinely doesn’t say a word about you both being in the same location then what’s the point of even snapping with him. Let’s say you walk right past him or you both acknowledge each other at the mall (or wherever) then be sweet and smile! Say hi and introduce yourself ‘it’s so nice to meet you’. More on this in post - ‘we snap a lot but it’s awkward in person’.
At a party
This is easy. You look good and you’re with your friends. Get a little wild and have your friend go over first and talk you up or start a conversation (she isn’t as nervous as you are and probably won’t care). Then a minute or two afterwards, join her side and introduce yourself. This exact situation worked out for a friend of mine last week… be confident and make your move.
Dude these situations are SCARY. You don’t want to come off as a creep. Gathering up the confidence to even wave or say hi is more anxiety inducing than my AP test on wednesday. Leave with this: act casual and even if saying hey is a huge deal for you, he doesn’t get to know that.
We got this!!!!!
Sophia