Ask Sophia: "How Do I Flirt And Tell A Guy I Like Him"
Updated: Feb 1, 2021
Q: How do I tell a guy I like him, or at least flirt with him?
Upon high request, today’s post is all about flirting and how to tell a guy you like him!
Before you read this post, I would strongly advise you to read Part 4 (5 Ways to Reveal 'Personality' and Flirt Nonchalantly) which is part of my snapchat series on “Beating The Snap H**s At Their Own Game”. Frankly, read the whole 7 part series on snapping boys if you haven’t already. A little disclaimer: what I know as of this point in my life is that I am attracted to boys. I won’t put a label on myself because I don’t know how I might feel about my sexuality in the future. This blog will be primarily discussing heterosexual relationships and I just wanted to put that out there.
I am no expert on this topic so I unashamedly consulted one of my besties (and the biggest flirt I know) who has and continues to pull every boy whom she crosses. Because of her astounding credentials and that fact that she’s been giving me flirting advice for ages, I knew you probably would all want to hear her secrets too.
While this might sound obvious, let’s start off by establishing that you HAVE to be bolder than how you would act if you wanted to just be friends with this boy. For introverted and shy people, even talking to him might be a stretch, but flirting and being friendly are two different things. You can get good practice on random out of state boys through TikTok or Omegle… no ties and when you’re done, just unadd them.
I had a school dance last year where I knew I would meet some new guys. Of course I spoke to my flirty friend prior to the dance and asked her for her best tip on how to attract boys. She instantly proclaimed that eye contact is essential. Not a creepy, always staring, Debby Ryan smirk type eye contact… but a little look up, look down moment and make sure they catch your eye more than once. Most sane boys will like this attention and if they don’t instantly come over to speak to you, at least they have you on their mind.
I have watched 10 gazillion Tiktoks preaching on the magic of touch. Try to have as much physical contact as possible when you’re hanging out with this boy. If the boys are playing some sort of sport, don’t be afraid to join in and push him around. Another way to get inclose contact is to compare shoe size, hand size, or height. Even making up some sort of handshake will do the trick for getting the physical touch needed to bring you closer to this boy.
What you say:
1. Emphasizing on what you already have
I don’t know about you but I’ve realized that I’m not going to enter a room and immediately grab the hottest guy’s attention. That's ok! The most realistic way I’ve ever really plunged into the flirting phase is by sparking conversation of any possible thing we have in common. Talk about mutual friends, a moment you spent together previously, a class you’re both in, how you both love the same sport, music, or tv show. Bringing up any commonalities between you and this boy is an amazing way to ensure that you can both be engaged on this topic you have in common … and from there sparks fly.
2. Focus on creating what you need
What’s going to be super important is continuing to foster some sort of memory that you can come back to. There’s no way you can sustain a vibrant conversation by only talking about Frank Ocean or that one party you met at a few weeks ago. So focus on new topics that can propel your conversations forward. For example, develop inside jokes together that you can bring up when you’re hanging out. Remember, you are creating a comfortable and distinct bond that he will want to come back to. Try to come across as sweet and carefree but also a little mean in a playful way so that he knows you’re not being serious. Think about ways you can make fun of or challenge him. In the most messed up way possible, boys thrive off of their glamorized versions of themselves and their masculinity. Use exaggeration to tell him you are 1000x better than him at whatever hobbies he’s interested in or how your music taste is superior to his.
Come up with a nickname for him. Suppose he plays baseball… call him baseball boy. If he’s a highlighter, call him blondey. Maybe abbreviate his last name.
The energy: Whatever you do, try and make him laugh! Hot, happy people gravitate towards other hot and happy people. By no means am I telling you to put on this facade around him that isn’t you but a boy who can laugh around you will remember you. Caveat: if you absolutely know you aren’t funny, just don’t try this because you don’t want to risk coming off as annoying.
Talk. About. Your. Future:
I know it's supposedly ‘bad’ to fantasize about boys and picture a future relationship with them just to be let down in the end, but I think you have to at least put the possibility out there that something might happen between you two. He’ll understand that you're interested in him if you bring up plans with him. Say things like ‘when we hang out you have to teach me how to play...’ From what I’ve heard, guys feel like it’s their obligation to reach out and make the plans and that can be stressful for them. Guys are attracted to a girl who knows what she wants so try to step a little out of your comfort zone and be bold. “Hey, can you study for chem after school” or “Let’s meet up at the game”... low risk normal things but it may be a bit nerve racking if you’re not used to this.
How to tell him I like him?
You tell a boy you like him once you’ve hung out a few times and have a pretty good idea that the feelings are mutual. Before you get there, my biggest advice is to maximize your one on one time together. Ask him ‘so why haven’t we hung out’ or suggest something casual to do together. If you want a real answer and to stop wasting your time, then you almost have to pull the trigger. I understand how that sounds daunting especially if you are friends with this person or are unsure about his feelings toward you, but at that point you then just have to expect that nothing will come of this talking stage and live with the uncertainty and frustration of not having an answer. Also check out this post called ‘Likes You vs. Using You’.
Some other snap chat things to reiterate and bring up (more in the snap series too): asking him to facetime, lots of complimenting, and make sure to give interesting, prompt replies.
We got this,