It’s your favorite time of the week… It's monday night and I’m here to make your day (and life) just an ounce more tolerable. I want to begin every post from now on with a reminder to please, please reach out to me on instagram @dearmondayblog and introduce yourself to me and don’t be afraid to rant to me about what’s on your mind. All of my posts are centered around answering your questions and discussing the topics you want to read about. Second, some self affirmations! I’m kind of new to this practice but my mind is constantly racing and it’s really important to slow down and think about the way we talk to ourselves. Your day might have been so flipping awful or maybe quite good. Something could be lingering in the back of your head and stressing you out. This could sound a bit odd but whisper these affirmations aloud with me RIGHT NOW: I trust myself and I own my worth. I stand up for myself when I am treated poorly. I accept nothing short of respect from every person I choose to surround myself with. The hard moments are temporary.
Ok great! I haven’t really stepped into the whole parents realm on Dear Monday yet but I think this topic is definitely the perfect one to begin with. This post commences Mom Diaries, a sporadic series I will revisit intermittently. In this series, I am planning on doing a plethora of posts on building a strong relationship with your mom by discussing a lot of the big conversations and fights that are common between mothers and their teenage daughters. Now that I’m 16, shaving and wearing bras are such a regular part of my life and I barely remember a time when I was carefree and oblivious to these puberty related concerns. Even before you get your period, many girls start to feel insecure about their body and facial hair or start to see some breast development. First, I’ll share my own experiences and then I’ll go over how to talk about these things with your mom or any other trusted female figure in your life.
At sleep away camp, during the summer following 5th grade, some of the more ‘fast’ girls would shave their legs in the bathroom every few days. Based off the way they so casually groomed their leg hair, it appeared as though this activity was obviously something they had been doing for a while… but 5th grade Sophia couldn’t relate! When your classmates or peers start to dip their toes into more “mature” or new habits, it can make you feel a jumble of emotions: self conscious, nervous, and unprepared. “Is the hair on my legs noticeable?”. “Since when did girls start shaving?!”. “Will my mom be upset of she sees my legs are bare and we didn’t talk about it first?”. “Will shaving hurt?” “Do I need to start wearing a proper bra?”. So in that moment, I ended up trying to bury the shaving dilemma somewhere else in my mind for the rest of that summer away and instead waited until I got home to talk with my mom. A lot of the parents of my friends at school had different ways of handling this early pubescent shift. One of my friends was never allowed to shave or wax and only used Veet (a hair removal cream). Another one of my good friends has only ever waxed. Anyway, so I told my mom about wanting to start shaving and she was very understanding and supportive. We went to get my legs waxed a few times later that summer but then I ultimately reached a point a couple months later when I started shaving in the bathroom sink with shaving cream and a razor because it was painless, cheaper and overall just less of a hassle. Now I just use foaming soap in the shower. Also here is a whole post on my shaving tips!
When it comes to bras, it is very common to start off with lightweight sports bras. A lot of athletes will wear jog bras from a pretty young age (I used to wear bedazzled Justice sports bras to dance class every day).But you will get to a point where you are ready for an upgrade. Like I mentioned in Part 1 and 2 in a short series I wrote about loving your boobs and bra shopping, buying your first real padded or cupped bra is a right of passage. Your body is changing and instead of dreading this transformation, embrace and celebrate your new curves and features.
Whether it be shaving, bra shopping, wanting more mature underwear, learning about how to use a tampon, or even talking about sexual topics… I TOTALLY understand how nerve wracking it can be to talk about it out loud with your mom. At the end of the day, being open, honest, and vulnerable with your mom will be your best course of action. It will be a lot more difficult to get what you want if you shut your mom out. Your mom went through these exact same emotions about bra shopping, shaving, etc. too at some point. At the end of the day, your mom DOES want you to be confident about yourself and is honestly waiting patiently for you to open up to her when you are ready. If for some reason, you do decide to talk to your mom about these changes but she won’t let you shave yet or says you are too young for x, y, or z, it’s probably because she isn’t ready to see her daughter grow up. Tell her things like, “I know you went through this as a teen and I need my mom to support me right now”, “I would feel a lot more confident about myself if I could wear a more supportive bra”, “It would be fun to go bra shopping together for my first time”, “Can you teach me how to shave and use a tampon”, or “I am growing up and I need you by my side”.
Girl, growing up is hard and talking about it with other people is awkward. Don’t worry because the Dear Monday fam has each other and remember that your best friends are going through this too right along with you. Don’t be afraid to help each other out.
We got this,